How often do these noises interrupt your life on a daily basis? I have to admit, if I didn’t put my phone on silent then I think the sounds would occur often enough for me to have my own inane little theme tune; each step I tread carrying a nagging noise with it. And as if we weren’t already ball and chained enough to these demanding drones, we are more than obliging to introduce another one into the mix.
Lo and behold, the pocket-pinging dating app.
At first, it’s rather liberating. Thinking, “Check me out, I’ve still got it! Screw you, *insert stupid ex’s name here* you don’t know what you’re missing.” and you’re on top of the world! It’s as if someone’s just opened a candy store for only you to enter, and everything in there is for you to take.
That is, until you actually read half of the messages…
Now, I’m a woman, so this may be a little biased, as I’ve heard men have an altogether different experience on the messages front. But for me, and for other women I’ve spoken to, this is the type of hard-candy you get to swallow.
“Hi. How’s u??? xXx” – (sent from a 12-year-old trapped in a 25-year-old’s body)
“Very sexy. Drinks 2nite?” – (sent from a 60-year-old wishing he was trapped in a 25-year-old’s body)
“You look like a good little spoon.” – (sent from a moron)
“*50,000 love-heart-eye emojis inserted*” – (Deleted the message faster than I could remember the sender)
EURGH. I think sugar is off the menu for me, cos this sickly-sweet speech just makes me want to barf.
How hard is it to master the art of conversation? Too hard, it seems. Talking of art, have you even seen half of these people’s profile pictures? For the handful of images that look like mugshots, there’s another sackful brimming with abs and sultry faces holding a cracked iPhone. GUYS! There’s this thing called a ‘smile’! Wear it. It’s better than looking like a mass-murderer or an egocentric tw*t.
Anyway, despite my obvious lack of success with the infernal apps (which, I must admit, despite trying 3 different ones over the last 7 years, I only spent less than 2 weeks on altogether because they were so damn annoying) there are some people who obviously seem to have done alright on it.
It may or may not have ended in wedded bliss, but at least they nabbed themselves a date, a relationship or even, erm, a bit of fun? I digress. My point is, the success stories are out there. But it does make me wonder – how did they find them? Was it a long search? Did they have better matches on different sites? Or is it just that what they wanted was more simple to find? Because, let’s face it, we all have a unique set of things we want from a relationship – some more than others.
In my personal opinion, I think that if you’re seeking a person whose hobbies get them out and about (e.g. sports, clubs, gigs etc.) then you’re better off finding your ideal match somewhere their interests would take them. So, if you want someone who likes kayaking, then join a club for it! More than likely you’ll meet someone there who’s more compatible with you than on any other filtered dating site. Whereas, if you’re more indoorsy and you just want someone to chill with on the sofa after work (e.g. Netflix, food, shopping etc.) then maybe you’ll have better luck on the sites? Just a thought.
In a recent study, 5% of Americans, who were either married or in a committed relationship, state they met their significant other online. Now, that’s a pretty interesting find. But, when you see that 88% of those studied in long-term relationships were formed without the use of an app, it tells you something far more interesting.
Well, that’s my opinion. But what about you? What do you think about dating apps? They’re ever-growing, so there must be something to them. Although, I still can’t quite believe that it’s because it’s the perfect way to meet your soulmate…