Over and over again, I have fallen in love with men that don’t exist. I have found my ideal partner within the pages of a book, walking into focus on the big screen or singing softly in my ear. The mere thought of them makes my heart skip a beat. But according to all of my friends, this is where I’m going wrong.
Supposedly, I’m meant to broaden my horizons by honing in on a corner. I get told to lower my standards and give someone a chance, but if it’s not there, it’s not there. I know what I want. So why should I settle for less?
I am not your average woman, and therefore, I do not want your average man. No offence to those out there I’ve previously dismissed. Honest to God, it’s not you – it’s me. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just not what I’m looking for.
You see, I am on a mission to find a superhero. But contrary to what you may think, he doesn’t wear a cape. He does, however, embody everything that makes him worthy of this title.
Just like our favourite fictional saviour, he is a man of honour. He has a goal and sets out to achieve it, no matter how tough it may be. He has experienced the lowest of lows, sunk to the very bottom and then learned to soar right to the top. Knowing that life is an uphill battle which can only be conquered with effort, he makes sure he is there when you need him most. Because he knows what it’s like to fall, and he cares that you gain enough strength to keep on climbing, even when he’s not there. He weighs up the importance of what is right and what is wrong and knows that, sometimes, he has to make heart-wrenching sacrifices for the greater good. But everything he does, he does for a reason, and he does it with soul and passion because he believes in his cause. And no matter who or what stands in his way, he will work out a way to make it right.
Unlike the men I’ve met, if he doesn’t turn up, he has a good reason. He apologises and he makes up for his absence. Not that anyone could stay mad at a man who saved innocents from a burning building. But he doesn’t use that an excuse to slack off caring. Superhero or not, politeness is a principle that bears no leeway. And if we have a responsibility to another, then we owe them an explanation if we can’t live up to it.
Maybe it’s the modern-day life that has made us this way, I don’t know. All I know is that whilst real men can’t fly or all be perfect-looking, that isn’t what I’m after. I’m not looking for that. I’m looking for what they possess in their hearts.
Show me a man with a keen sense of adventure, a creative drive or passion, the ability to laugh and be silly while also knowing when it’s time to be serious, to be dedicated to the words he pledges and display actions which prove them to be true, and ultimately, show me that he is someone I can finally put my trust into.
Asking for that special someone to be “nice” is like asking for a car with a steering wheel – it’s the least I expect from them. But just like when you’re looking for that perfect set of wheels, you know what you’re after.
So friends, trust me when I say that I know what I want and that I believe it’s achievable. I know my limits but I also know my worth. Time is not to be wasted. So I won’t settle for someone who isn’t right for me or me right for them.
Maybe I am looking for Mr Fiction to you. But to me, I know that he is based on something real. And even if that’s like searching for a needle in a haystack, I’m prepared to be patient for it. Because I know he’ll be worth the wait.
So if, by any chance, Mr Fiction, you are out there…
…Come find me?