Huff and puff all you like, but despite what you think (or want to hear) holding onto the fragments of a broken relationship won’t save you from heartache. In reality, you already know this. You are completely aware that it’s over and that you no longer want the repeated cycle caused by your messy partnership. But something inside of you also says you can’t imagine your life without them in it. That, maybe, having some of them is still better than having nothing at all. So you come up with every excuse under the sun to justify their presence there. Even though they messed you around, even though you’re still unhappy, you continue to convince yourself that you’d be worse off without them there at all. In time though, you’ll realise you’ve simply been prolonging the agony.
All of us have a fear of the unknown, but if you’re being honest with yourself, you know that it’s better to walk away from the precipice rather than teeter on it. And by staying with someone for old time’s sake or keeping them in your life despite breaking up, you’re doing just that. You may think that it’s over and scream out loud to all your friends that it’s true, but whilst you’re still talking, you’re still too close to that edge.
Of course, as time goes by and you’ve had a chance to move on from that stage in your life, by all means, a friendship in the future may well be possible. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be. But while things are still raw and your emotions are still unsettled, you have to learn to let go.
Thinking you can both be friends straight after ending your intense relationship is a naive mistake we all make at some point in our lives. Inevitably though, all it does is hold us back.
In order to regain some focus, you need to make sure the road ahead of you is clear of distractions. Having past presences loiter in the distance, no matter how far away, will not help you achieve this. Everything in your wake MUST be free of emotional reminders. If you can still see them, then they’re still too close. Which means you have to do everything in your power to avoid all contact with them (including something as small as texting) so that, in time, you can once again find freedom within yourself.
Remembering that there was a time in your life where you managed to smile before they became a part of it will help make this concept more feasible. Know that your pleasant pastimes are entirely possible to recreate in your future. All you have to do is believe in yourself and make it happen.
By all means, take your time. But don’t wait around. Life, like a car, will only start moving once you turn the ignition. So take a seat, get comfy, belt up, deep breath and get ready to make tracks for a new destination.
Unmapped as it is – with bumps undoubtedly still to be expected in your path – be strong and ride it out anyway. Despite how hard it may be to not look back, you can do it – you can make it to the other side.
Then, one day, you’ll stop to take a look around at your new surroundings and you’ll suddenly realise something incredible:
Your heart’s not broken anymore.