I have been burned before. Love has left scars that never seem to heal. Pain that never seems to go away. But I know that it won’t last forever. Because someday, I will meet someone new.
One day, I will meet someone who will keep their promises. No more will I be left sat nursing a cup of coffee at an empty table, wondering to myself why you didn’t show up. Thoughts of doubt will no longer run through my mind. Was I too much? Did I come on too strong? No. Because, despite how the saying goes, it wasn’t me, it was you. Time has taught me that excuses are just guilt wrapped in shame. Only the weak try and hurt you to conceal their failings. But someday, I’ll meet someone who will be true to their word, and I’ll remember what it feels like to smile.
One day, I will meet someone who will mean what they say and say what they mean. Honesty is all I ever wanted. Respect for one another shouldn’t be so hard. And yet, for you, it was impossible. Trying to find out your intentions was confusing. You made me question my mind, my integrity, my everything. You never let me feel like I could breathe. But in spite of what you’d said, I hadn’t done anything wrong. You brought out the worst in me. Freezing me out made me someone I’m not. Second-guessing you made me crumble. But one day, I will meet somebody who will free my soul instead of caging it. They will liberate my mind and they will awaken my spirit. Then in time, I will once again learn how it feels to be able to breathe.
One day, I will meet someone who will make me laugh instead of cry. A conversation won’t turn in an unfamiliar direction. Eggshells won’t be walked on. I will know where I stand. My voice won’t rise in pitch in fear of your anger. My body won’t be rigid like a statue, watching on helplessly as you yell at me from the corner of the room. If I make a mistake, I will be sat down on a comfy seat with a cup of tea in one hand and theirs in the other, and they will speak to me like I’m a human being. Together, we will talk and we will listen, we will apologise and we will hug, and when the air is clear and clarity has been restored, things will go back to normal. What’s done is done. Because now it’s been sorted there’ll be no need to hold grudges, and that’s how it should be.
One day, I will meet someone who will allow me to be the best version of myself. Instead of fearing to show them all of what makes me, me, I will embrace it. Laughter will be my favourite song when they giggle at my silly ways and crazy thoughts. My heart won’t sink every time they ask me questions about myself, for I’ll know that they have no ulterior motive. They will want to know what I have to say, even the parts that might be hard to hear. Life will make sense in ways I never dreamed possible, and that’ll be because – at long last – I’ll have met somebody caring, someone genuine, loyal and true. A person that’s a far cry from somebody like you.
One day, I will meet someone good and I won’t believe my luck. For so long, I’ll have grown expectant of heartbreak, thinking that as soon as I allow myself to be vulnerable to another, history will repeat itself and I will be broken once more. Memories of you will try to haunt me and stop me from being happy, but by that point, I’ll be stronger than they are. And as much as I’ll remember all the times you tried to break me down, I will also remember that you can no longer hurt me. Your presence in my head is nothing but a ghost from a distant past. A glorious future is here, and nothing can stop me now that I’m free.
One day, I will meet someone new and I’ll be glad to have gone through all that pain. For when that day eventually comes they will show me, finally, that I can believe in love again.