One of the most painful emotions a human can undergo is not knowing whether to have hope or to simply give up. How long do you hold on for? What action(s) are specifically needed in order to have faith that things will “get better”? And…what if they don’t last? Or worse, don’t happen. Because when all hope is lost, despair quickly follows.

Hope can only be found by making it a reality. Arguably, one cannot find hope within hope. It is channelled through action that delineates its possibility. Whatever it is that’s bringing your soul to this place, there are things that can help move you towards the right action, which could reinforce your hope. Or, if not, realise that giving up on hope in this instance does not mean meeting a dead end overall. Some things require the action of giving up so that a new dream can be built. Sometimes, the best of experiences can arise from the ashes of sad times.

Maybe, the growth or change is a personal one? Spiritual, even? Whichever direction it is that you need to go, here are 7 tips to help work it out:

1. Acknowledge the feeling – The first step is to validate the pain and recognise the core reasons you feel the way you do. What set this domino effect into motion? Does it go back to previous experiences? Is something not being met? Whatever it is, acknowledge the feeling and then try to identify why it’s there. This will help you cultivate your next step.
2. Reassure yourself of the possibilities – Be mindful. Allow meditation to help clear your mind so that you can fully access the perspective you need to see other possibilities and how to achieve them. They are out there.
3. Realise not all will be easy – Tasks like this can be overwhelming. So it’s important that you don’t do it alone. Seek out your support network in friends and family. Join a group relevant to your particular struggle. Socialising with others who have come out the other side of the place you’re in not only provides empathy and understanding, but delivers a truly authentic version of hope you can tangibly work with. You may also wish to seek out a professional for help. They can give you a place to be heard whilst also providing you with tools to better regulate your feelings and create healthy lifestyle habits.
4. Understand that giving up on a situation doesn’t mean you have to give up with everything – Accepting some inevitable fates is what leads us to a very important question, “What now?” This question may feel ominous, but it’s actually a doorway to a new hope for your future. It may not be via the path you were walking down, but it is an alternative direction towards happiness.
5. Give yourself time to see things unfold – Nothing comes instantly. As the old saying goes, “All good things take time.” Nevertheless, the most changes happen when you make moves towards them, which leads swiftly to point 6…
6. Stay curious throughout this process – Get creative and find an emotional outlet in something you’re passionate about, such as art or music, building or stitching etc. Whatever it is, it may not be “the” answer, but keeping your mind busy with things that put you in touch with those powerful emotions is an incredible source of peace. Eventually, it’ll become your happy place, and who knows where that passion could take you?
7. Surround yourself with beautiful people – Remember, what matters isn’t whether you’re liked by everyone. It’s whether you like yourself around these people. The ones that feel most like home are the ones that matter most. Focus on them, nurture those relationships, and see where those vital connections take you.

To whoever needs this message, may it give you the hope you need to stay strong and carry on.