No perfect words come to mind. My mind has drawn a blank. For every emotion I once had has been destroyed by the carelessness of others – their disbelief, their mocking, their absence – and now, the tears don’t even come. Where once they would flood and my mind would race, inside me now it’s as still and as empty as this page once was, before I made my indelible mark.

And whether you like it or not, this is your fault. And when I tell you why, you may not think it’s a big deal. After all, I’m not crying anymore, so it can’t hurt that badly, right? Wrong. Feeling numb doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. No, in fact, I’ve gone past the stage of physical pain. There are no more wounds left to heal. Only scars take their place. There’s no space left for you to cut me up inside. The words you used to hurt me, things you said or did (or sometimes, didn’t) they render me unmoved, unaffected. I simply shrug my shoulders at this new situation relaying an old storyline and say,

“Standard.”

No tears. No tantrums. Just…nothing.

I write this on behalf of the people who have ever felt this way, and I write this for the ones who gave up because of it, too. We all need to realise that every action has a consequence, and even if you don’t see it happen, it’s there. Ripples in the ocean still make waves along the shore. And although I don’t know how many people are good in this world or where to find them, I live in hope that those who believe in this message will help spread the word.

Please add your thoughts to this paragraph, if you can think of more ways to be kind 💙

• It’s my firm belief that even the most difficult of times can be resolved with good communication.
• One based on compassion – as some people’s misfortunes are legitimate, so we should learn to give the benefit of the doubt, ask questions and speak with diplomacy – as being tactful is good for you and the other person involved.
• Handling a situation sensitively and patiently shows respect, but still remaining honest and factual. Perhaps it does feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting back, but have you looked at the entire, unbiased context within (and outside of) your relationship? It’s important to make sure that every piece of evidence has been carefully considered. Check that your discussion and feelings are unambiguous, clear and unequivocally correct, before you jump the gun and leave an irreparable tear in the fabric of your friendship.
• If you do want to keep things strong, you will need to keep your integrity – because once you switch from candid discussion to open-fire attack, nothing will ever be the same again, for you, them or your connection.
• Certain circumstances do inevitably present the difficult choice to walk away. If these listed behaviours are not being returned, you owe it to yourself to be kind and end the conversation. Whether for now or for good, so long as you have been earnest and true, hold your head high. You did everything within your power to try and salvage the relationship. But kindness is a two-way effort. It requires active participation from both parties, reading from the same page.

Big or small, kindness costs nothing. So next time someone asks you a question, pays you a compliment or checks you’re okay – reply. If you make an arrangement but things have now changed, let them know. They’re definitely a keeper if they care about your connection and wellbeing more than the event. Always keep in mind that saying something is better than saying nothing at all. For whilst you may know what you’re thinking, other people can only guess. And who knows how many times they’ve experienced that confusion before? Isolating themselves from others as a result. Trust me, I know.

So be the person you’d want to meet.

Be the friend you’d want to have.

Be the partner you’d be proud to call your own.

It’s not always that easy, but it’s definitely not that hard, either.

Be kind ♡