Every plastic surgery show I watch is filled with women who feel they aren’t sexy enough because of their bodies. They cry on camera and paint a picture of how hard it is for them to feel attractive when they have small boobs or lips that aren’t pouty enough. And it makes me sad. But not for the reason you may think.

It breaks my heart to see women feeling so negatively towards their appearance when there’s so much more to them than just what’s on the surface.

For years, the media has told us what men like the look of on a girl and what body type is considered “sexy”, implicitly stating that anything opposing that look is not. But yet, they never tell us what guys appreciate from within.

Being sexy is more than just having a tan and an hourglass figure. Being sexy is an aura. It’s about what’s inside. And it may surprise you to realise just how attractive you are to others, despite what you’ve read in the magazines.

From my personal experience, here are 6 personality traits men find irresistibly attractive:

1. Intelligence – An old research study says different, but I’ve never found this to be the case. Smart men will appreciate your intellect. Their ears will prick up and they’ll be keen to hear what you have to say. They’ll value the fact that they can hold a stimulating conversation with you and that you can hold your own when your opinion is challenged. Providing you’re not trying to be a know-it-all, guys love a smart girl. So if you know something and you want to shout it from the rooftops, go for it! Not only will you be admired for your confidence, but you’ll also most definitely impress Mr Suited and Booted, too.
2. Inspiring Nature – Women who make the most of their lives certainly attract a guy’s attention. You may believe that the girl posing on the beach wearing nothing more than a thong bikini is sexier because her insta-pic gets more likes than your pensive poetry, but the truth is very different. Sure, most guys like body-shots, that’s obvious. But it doesn’t go much further than an aesthetic appreciation. Real interest goes far deeper than a quick tap of a “like” button. Guys that matter will show they love your adventurous nature and passion to help others by taking the time to tell you personally. They’ll want you to know that you’re special by getting to know more about you as an individual. So don’t let your self-judgement be impacted by the shallow depths of others. You’re far deeper than that. And those that are genuinely attracted to you will let you know that in a way that takes far more effort.
3. Good Sense of Humour – They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but there’s a lot more to be said for a lady that can make a man laugh, too. In a man’s eyes, a woman that doesn’t take herself too seriously and can play along with the sarcastic jokes is definitely one to keep. Because ultimately, they’re not looking for a chef. They’re looking for someone to love. And there’s nothing quite as lovely as being around someone who constantly makes you feel happy.
4. Passionate Interest – Creative individuals appeal to us all. Whether we share that passion or not, witnessing someone else in their element is definitely infectious. Guys love this zest for life. And it’s not important to them whether those interests you’re passionate about are mutual or not (but if they are, it’s a big bonus) they just love to see you dive in deep to what you love. Again, just like with humour, seeing someone else excited by life makes them feel happy. They may not always say anything, but their mile-wide smile should tell you everything you need to know.
5. Caring and Thoughtful Actions – Despite their tough-nut exterior, most men find nothing more attractive than someone who is sweet-natured. At heart, most guys are big softies and they want to be around a woman who enables them to be that way. So they love the fact that you’re a good listener and great at giving advice when they’re down. They adore it when you do nice things for them just because you want to make them smile. And they’re super impressed that you remembered their Auntie Gina has a mushroom allergy and so made a whole special dinner just for her! Guys don’t always have the easiest time expressing their emotions, so being around a caring woman like you will definitely increase their attraction.
6. Grounded Outlook – A down-to-earth spirit is more of a head-turner than any cherry butt, trust me. And although you may not be aware of this, being grounded is notably one of the sexiest traits of all. At the end of the day, a guy wants their partner to be real and their relationships to be stable. And they want to know that when the tough times do arise, you can calmly face the storm together. A level-headed individual who can sensibly discuss a problem is undoubtedly more attractive than a self-entitled drama queen. So don’t be surprised if a man is more drawn to relaxed old you over your angst-ridden counterpart. There’s probably a good reason why!

The most attractive attributes start from within. And, it goes without saying that these traits are equally as attractive to see in a man. So don’t worry about your not-so-perfect nose or your pear-shaped body. Instead, start praising yourself because of what you hold inside.

Remember, looks fade. But a good heart keeps you beautiful forever.