The internet is a cesspit of opinions, saturating the online world with contrasting views delineated as truths. To say things get confusing is an understatement. From the moment you have a burning personal question you desperately want to ask but aren’t ready to share with your loved ones, you load up a tab, secretly enter your thought bubble into the search bar, and wait for the list of potential answers. And, the result?

Totally overwhelming.

By the time you’ve worked your way through the forums and drop-down bars, you end up with more questions than you started with, inclining you to believe that ignorance truly is bliss. But, much like the allegory of Plato’s cave, once you know the truth outside the walls of shadows, it’s hard to forget. Ignorance is the option of hindsight.

So, you go on the next best mission you can think of – a digitox. Indefatigably avoiding all ways this cyber information can further leak into your brain, attempting to harness peace in a world full of noise. Though, this is pretty hard to achieve when the whole of civilisation requires you access everything through an app. If you’re someone who can physically throw their phone in a drawer and not have to worry about it, good on you! That is a beautiful option. For the rest of us, however, peace needs to be discovered within the confines of our tech-based lives.

“Attempting to harness peace in a world full of noise.”

Discipline is better than waiting for motivation to kick in. The more you wait to be motivated, the less you’ll feel the mojo for it. That applies to most things in life. So when it comes to self-confidence and belief, how do you discipline yourself into feeling those things enough to avoid hitting the search engine with every anxious thought?

You’ve got to hit the brakes.

Somewhere in your current life, you have to stop accelerating. Whether it’s work, interpersonal relationships, projects, or another type of demand, you need to slow things down. There’s too much going on and you’re going too fast to cope with all of them. This type of emotional burnout seems especially prevalent in those with a perfectionist vision. Usually down to past experiences that once stole control deserved in their world, a state of anxiety is propelled into action when things go anything but how they’re “meant to”.

Endless analysis and evaluative cognitions go ten to the dozen, and you hope that finding answers to these thoughts will allay them. And yet, instead, it intensifies them, leaving your already busy brain akin to Grand Central Station. Eventually, you’re going to go beyond burnout. It’ll be complete collapse.

And do you know why?

Because there are always going to be contrasting beliefs and opinions to your own. Making everyone else happy isn’t the objective here. Finding the “right” thing leads to the same issue. The most important thing you can do is find your own truth, own it, and work with it. Accept you’re not always going to get it “right”, or that other people will be upset sometimes. It’s inevitable.

Of course, being the good soul means you want this upset to be as small as can be. Damage limitation is important. But so is your mental wellbeing, and that’s a whole lot easier to process when the choices you make are of your own volition and understandings. Which is why, when it comes to making a surefire decision, asking the right questions is key.

Most of us want to be liked, for example, so we wonder if that’s the case. This is not the right question. Others consider whether we like other people. This is a better question, but still leaves room for conflict. After all, we can like/love someone and know that it doesn’t alter fundamental issues. So the question to consider asking is reflected in those issues: Do I like who I am/have become in this situation/relationship? Am I thriving or wilting? Is there room for mutual growth, learning or any level of self-potentiation as a result of continuing on this path? If the answers to that are negative, therein lies your answer.

Self-love begins with acceptance. Accepting your judgement and beliefs, knowing you’ve been fair in that evaluation. Giving it time and care when asking those salient questions to verify your thoughts. Proof is everything. Once you’ve done it, you’ll not have to repeat it. Again, like Plato’s Cave, what’s discovered can’t be forgotten. You know who you are.