To the man I love,
I don’t always show you what I’m feeling. Sometimes the wrong emotions come out, or I hide the real ones, in fear you won’t feel the same, or that “now” just isn’t the time for them. I suppose they come to the surface when the silence hits. No distractions. Just purity in the quiet. I write these words to you whilst I am deep in touch with those feelings, so you know exactly what is behind my eyes.
When I think of you, it overwhelms me. You make my lips curve into a cheeky smile. You make my heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly. You make my eyes trickle a tear, a tear that holds all my memories of you.
When I see you, the anticipation is always there. I put up a confident front to make things not seem too deep, just so my heart doesn’t get the better of me. But inside I still tremble from the nerves. “Be cool.” Is all I think. But when I dream of the moment, I want to run into your arms, feel your emotions meet mine and just for a second, everything around us disappears.
In all the times I have shared with you, no matter how close we have been, I have still held back. I still have so much more I want to show you, and I want you to know that.
No matter how challenging the road has been that we’ve travelled on, with a love this strong, I cannot give up. Despite our differences, and the way we get when we lose ourselves, it just doesn’t matter. The way I feel for you, everything you are, that you do, how you make me feel, I love it and I love you.
The only wish I have is that with all the changes life throws at us, we will use it to grow as people and always remember each other. Even if we are far apart, or we don’t see one another or speak much, remember this feeling. Even when it hurts, remember that it’s because it’s special and worth the world.
I just hope that when the time is right, we can come together fully and I can finally show you the true extent of my dreams, and you will want to share yours too.
For now, I will wait and hope.
Your girl x